Ballooning!

[voo2doo]

I've just got back from a Hot Air Ballooning holiday in Ireland, I got lost the other day and saw a Farmer way below me, I shouted to him: "WHERE AM I?" He replied: "YOU CAN'T FOOL ME YOU ENGLISH PRICK....... YER IN DAT FECKIN' BASKET!!"
J.

 

[voo2doo]

"tanjooberrymutts"

Read carefurry.

"TANJOOBERRYMUTTS"...

By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND "TANJOOBERRYMUTTS"...and be ready for China .

Now, here goes...
The following is a telephonic exchange between maybe you as a hotel guest and room-service in China ......
Room Service : "Morrin. Roon sirbees."
Guest : "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."
Room Service: " Rye . Roon sirbees...morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen???"
Guest: "Uh..... Yes, I'd like to order bacon and eggs."
Room Service: "Ow ulai den?"
Guest: ".....What??"
Room Service: "Ow ulai den?!?... Pryed, boyud, pochd?"
Guest: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry.. Scrambled, please."
Room Service: "Ow ulai dee bayken ? Creepse?"
Guest: "Crisp will be fine."
Room Service: "Hokay. An sahn toes?"
Guest: "What?"
Room Service: "An toes. ulai sahn toes?"
Guest: "I.... Don't think so.."
RoomService: "No? Udo wan sahn toes???"
Guest: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'udo wan sahn toes' means."
RoomService: "Toes! Toes!...Why Uoo don wan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we botter?"
Guest: "Oh, English muffin! !! I've got it! You were saying 'toast'...
Fine...Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
RoomService: "We botter?"
Guest: "No, just put the botter on the side."
RoomService: "Wad?!?"
Guest: "I mean butter... Just put the butter on the side."
RoomService: "Copy?"
Guest: "Excuse me?"
RoomService: "Copy...tea..meel?"
Guest: "Yes. Coffee, please... And that's everything."
RoomService: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, creepse bayken , Anglish moppin, we botter on sigh and copy ... Rye ??"
Guest: "Whatever you say."
RoomService: "Tanjooberrymutts."
Guest: "You're welcome"

Remember I said "By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND 'TANJOOBERRYMUTTS' ...... and you do, don't you!

J.

 

[voo2doo]

Bloody wives!

Things ain't great with the missus...
She's sick of it...
Footie..cricket..rugby..
always sport on the telly...So i booked
a quiet table for 2 last night to try and patch things up...
By 9 o'clock things were 10 times worse-she hadn't
potted a single f@ckin red
J.

 

[charlieboy]

pmsl

 

[voo2doo]

pmsl

Bored again Ben!
J.

 

[charlieboy]

i was wonderin mate

 

[wagon]

lmfao!!!!!!

 

[cryptonblade]

I thought of

but u mean