- Messages
- 8,911
- Location
- Flintshire,North Wales
A chemist owner walks into his shop to find a man leaning against a wall. He asks the shop assistant "what's wrong with the guy over there by the wall". The assistant replies "he came in to something for his cough, I couldn't find any cough syrup so I gave him a full bottle of laxitive. "You Idiot" replied the owner, "you can't treat a cough with a bottle of laxitive!" The assistant replied "course you can, look at him he's too scared to cough now".
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A family is driving behind an Ann Summers delivery lorry when a large dildo flies out and hits their windscreen. To hide her embarrassment the mother says to the children "that was a big insect". To which her 7 year old son replies "I'm surprised it could fly with a cock that size".
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Man in hospital with 60% burns. Doctor says "Give him 2 viagra". "Will that help" asked the puzzled nurse. "No" says the doctor "but it will keep the sheets off his legs"!
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Five things not to say in a gay bar...
1, Well f**k me
2, Bottoms up
3, Can I bum a fag
4, Toss ya for the next round
5, Can someone push my stool in
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What can a jelly baby do that a man can't?
Cum in 5 different flavours.
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You're on a horse galloping away at speed. On your right is a sharp drop off, on your left is an elephant traveling the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is a kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion chasing you.
What must you do in this highly dangerous situation???
Get off the f**k off the Merry-Go-Round and act your age.
J.
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A family is driving behind an Ann Summers delivery lorry when a large dildo flies out and hits their windscreen. To hide her embarrassment the mother says to the children "that was a big insect". To which her 7 year old son replies "I'm surprised it could fly with a cock that size".
---
Man in hospital with 60% burns. Doctor says "Give him 2 viagra". "Will that help" asked the puzzled nurse. "No" says the doctor "but it will keep the sheets off his legs"!
---
Five things not to say in a gay bar...
1, Well f**k me
2, Bottoms up
3, Can I bum a fag
4, Toss ya for the next round
5, Can someone push my stool in
---
What can a jelly baby do that a man can't?
Cum in 5 different flavours.
---
You're on a horse galloping away at speed. On your right is a sharp drop off, on your left is an elephant traveling the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is a kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion chasing you.
What must you do in this highly dangerous situation???
Get off the f**k off the Merry-Go-Round and act your age.
J.
