Toyota recall!

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voo2doo

voo2doo

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Toyota's car selling 'hook': The car in front is a Toyota

I was thinking that's no surprise if all the accelerators are sticking
__________________
J:)
 
A man walks into the pub,the tv`s on and the evening news is covering the story of a guy about to jump off a high rise block.
"I bet you £20 he jumps!!" says the man
"He wont" says Paddy....
With that,the guy jumps and Paddy`s mortified,but hands over the money.
"I cant accept your money" says the man,"I saw that earlier on the lunchtime news.
"So did i" says Paddy
"But i didnt think he`d f*****g jump again"!!!!!!

Ill get me coat.....Taxi!!!!!!!
 
2 blondes walked into a pub, the barman said ''why are you so happy?'' and they said ''because we completed a jigsaw puzzle in 6 weeks that said 2-3 years on the box.''
__________________
J.
 
25 Reason’s I Owe My Mother
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
'You better pray that stain will come out of the carpet.'

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
' Because I said so, that's why.'

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'

7. My mother taught me IRONY
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .
'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don 't exaggerate!'

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your father!'

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents
like you do.'

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait until we get home.'

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
'You are going to get it when you get home!'

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.'

19. My mother taught me ESP.
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'

20. My mother taught me HUMOR .
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.'

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS .
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE
'Some day you'll have kids and I hope they turn out just like YOU!!!'
__________________
J.
 
Wife buys some crotchless knickers to spice up her love life. She gets home & decides to put em on & sits on the sofa opposite her husband. He is watching TV and doesn't take much notice of her until she sexily eases her legs open revealing her new purchase. "Are them crotchless knickers you are wearing" he says. "Yes darling" she replies and gives hime a sexy wink. "Thank f*ck for that" says hubby "I thought the stuffing had come out of the sofa"
:clown::clown::clown::clown:
 
dwarfy said:
Wife buys some crotchless knickers to spice up her love life. She gets home & decides to put em on & sits on the sofa opposite her husband. He is watching TV and doesn't take much notice of her until she sexily eases her legs open revealing her new purchase. "Are them crotchless knickers you are wearing" he says. "Yes darling" she replies and gives hime a sexy wink. "Thank f*ck for that" says hubby "I thought the stuffing had come out of the sofa"
:clown::clown::clown::clown:
Click to expand...

:clown::clown::clown:
 
dwarfy said:
Wife buys some crotchless knickers to spice up her love life. She gets home & decides to put em on & sits on the sofa opposite her husband. He is watching TV and doesn't take much notice of her until she sexily eases her legs open revealing her new purchase. "Are them crotchless knickers you are wearing" he says. "Yes darling" she replies and gives hime a sexy wink. "Thank f*ck for that" says hubby "I thought the stuffing had come out of the sofa"
:clown::clown::clown::clown:
Click to expand...

WAAAAAAAAAAAAA.............FPMSL:clown::clown::clown: Janes loved that one!
J.
 
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