Jane gave me £50
and told me 2 go out and get something for her birthday that makes her look sexy.....
U should've seen her face when i came home pi**ed!
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Just found a dead man in the street, so I have brought him in and put him on my cats pillow.
Lets see how it ****ing likes it..
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Two girlfriends are having a conversation about their boyfriends when the first one says: "My boyfriend said he fantasises about having two girls at once."
The other replies, "Yeah, most men do. What did you tell him?".
"I said, If you can't satisfy one woman, why would you want to piss off two?"
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A man walked into a crowded doctor's reception and as he approached the desk, the receptionist asked, "Yes sir, may we help you?"
"There's something wrong with my penis," he replied.
The receptionist became aggravated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded reception and say things like that."
"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you." he said.
"Because" replies the receptionist. "You've obviously caused some embarrassment in this room full of strangers. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the doctor in private".
The man walked out, waited several minutes and re-entered. The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"
"There's something wrong with my 'ear'," he stated.
The receptionist nodded approvingly. "And what is wrong with your ear, sir?"
"I can't p*ss out of it." the man replied.
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J
and told me 2 go out and get something for her birthday that makes her look sexy.....
U should've seen her face when i came home pi**ed!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just found a dead man in the street, so I have brought him in and put him on my cats pillow.
Lets see how it ****ing likes it..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two girlfriends are having a conversation about their boyfriends when the first one says: "My boyfriend said he fantasises about having two girls at once."
The other replies, "Yeah, most men do. What did you tell him?".
"I said, If you can't satisfy one woman, why would you want to piss off two?"
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A man walked into a crowded doctor's reception and as he approached the desk, the receptionist asked, "Yes sir, may we help you?"
"There's something wrong with my penis," he replied.
The receptionist became aggravated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded reception and say things like that."
"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you." he said.
"Because" replies the receptionist. "You've obviously caused some embarrassment in this room full of strangers. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the doctor in private".
The man walked out, waited several minutes and re-entered. The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"
"There's something wrong with my 'ear'," he stated.
The receptionist nodded approvingly. "And what is wrong with your ear, sir?"
"I can't p*ss out of it." the man replied.
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J