BiggaJ
Well-Known Member
- Messages
- 777
- Location
- Wirral, Northwest England
Men's Pearls of Wisdom
>
>
>
> 1. When I was born, I was given a choice - a big peepee or a good
memory.
> I don't remember what I chose.
>
> 2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom
factory.
>
> 3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
>
> 4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'
>
> 5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men -
> 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
>
> 6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on
earth.
>
> 7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try
> Weekly, and Try Weakly.
>
> 8. Virginity can be cured.
>
> 9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity.
>
> 10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good
> partner, you'd better have a good hand.
>
> 11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too
small.
>
> 12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
>
> 13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?
> A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
>
> 14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was
> happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing......
>
> 15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
> A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.
>
> 16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
> A: Breasts don't have eyes.
>
> 17. Despite the old saying, ' Don't take your troubles to bed', many
> men still sleep with their wives!!
>
>
>
> 1. When I was born, I was given a choice - a big peepee or a good
memory.
> I don't remember what I chose.
>
> 2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom
factory.
>
> 3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
>
> 4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'
>
> 5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men -
> 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
>
> 6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on
earth.
>
> 7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try
> Weekly, and Try Weakly.
>
> 8. Virginity can be cured.
>
> 9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity.
>
> 10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good
> partner, you'd better have a good hand.
>
> 11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too
small.
>
> 12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
>
> 13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?
> A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
>
> 14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was
> happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing......
>
> 15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
> A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.
>
> 16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
> A: Breasts don't have eyes.
>
> 17. Despite the old saying, ' Don't take your troubles to bed', many
> men still sleep with their wives!!