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voo2doo

voo2doo

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Skinny little Irishman goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little Irishman staring at him, he looks down and says: '7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 6 pounds of testicles, Turner Brown.'

The little Irishman faints and falls to the floor.

The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him.. The big guy says, 'What's wrong with you?'
In a weak voice the little guy says, 'What EXACTLY did you say to me?'
The big dude says, 'I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me...... I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 pounds each and my name is Turner Brown.'

The little white Irishman says: 'Turner Brown?!....Sweet bejeezus, I thought you said, 'Turn around!

J.
 
In honour of stupid people
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on
consumer goods.


On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) --
"Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)



On Sainsbury's peanuts --
"Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)






On Boot's Children Cough Medicine --
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking
this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)






On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding --
"Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)






On a hairdryer --
Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)






On a bag of Doritos --
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)





On a bar of Dial soap --
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be???....)






On some Swanson frozen dinners --
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's just a suggestion.)





On packaging for a Rowenta iron --
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me time?)





On Nytol Sleep Aid --
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(..I'm taking this because???.....)
 
Halfway through my shift at Jessops, a guy came in to pick up some photos of his naked wife.
Naturally, I had a little peek as I handed them over.
"Would you like the negatives?" I asked.
"Yes please," he said sheepishly.
I said, "Your wife's got saggy tits and a fat arse."
 
Paddy's racing snail is not winning races anymore. So he decided to take its shell off to reduce its weight and make him more aerodynamic.
It didn't work, if anything it made him more sluggish
 
Lady in labour, shouting the usual poop, "Get this out of me! Give me the drugs!" She turns to her boyfriend and says, "You did this to me, you ****er!"
He casually replies, "If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse, but you said,


'**** off it'll be too painful.'"
__________________J_________________________
 
voo2doo said:
Lady in labour, shouting the usual poop, "Get this out of me! Give me the drugs!" She turns to her boyfriend and says, "You did this to me, you ****er!"
He casually replies, "If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse, but you said,


'**** off it'll be too painful.'"
__________________J_________________________
Click to expand...

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: Keep em coming Voo:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
 
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