takeaway

[voo2doo]

I had a Chinese take away last night, a little Chinese chap delivered it, I said how much? he said £10 I said what's the name of Jordan's(Kate Price) son? he said "Harvey Price" I said thanks very much here's £5 now sod off!!!
J.

 

[voo2doo]

True bravery is arriving home late after a guy's night out, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and still having the guts to ask:

"Are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"
J.

 

[dwarfy]

Paddy applies for a job at a blacksmiths. The blacksmith asks "have you ever shoe'd a horse before?". Paddy replies "No, but I once told a donkey to f*ck off"

 

[dwarfy]

A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant where the tampax are kept. The assistant tells him and he disappears down the isle. 5mins later he returns with cotton wool balls and toilet roll and the puzzled assistant asks "didnt you come in to buy tampax sir?". "Yes" he replies "but the other day I asked my wife to buy me a packet of 20 cigarettes & she came back with a pouch of tobacco so lets see how she likes rolling her f*ckin own"

I love that 1 :lol::lol:

 

[voo2doo]

A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant where the tampax are kept. The assistant tells him and he disappears down the isle. 5mins later he returns with cotton wool balls and toilet roll and the puzzled assistant asks "didnt you come in to buy tampax sir?". "Yes" he replies "but the other day I asked my wife to buy me a packet of 20 cigarettes & she came back with a pouch of tobacco so lets see how she likes rolling her f*ckin own"

I love that 1 :lol::lol:

Top joke la!
J.

 

[sickboy]

roll her fxxking own lol,
Now thats got to be the best this week i needed that thanks mucker

 

[zouz10]

A man and his kids were sitting in the living room and he said to them,
I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.

They got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out his beer...

They are such A$$holes...

 

[voo2doo]

A man and his kids were sitting in the living room and he said to them,
I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.

They got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out his beer...

They are such A$$holes...

PMSL.....
J.