That'll teach ya!

[voo2doo]

The wife said to me that my penis c losely resembled a tic tac !
She was quite smug with her remark untill i brought her down a peg or two and replied "so why has your sister still got bad breath then.??!


--------------------------------J--------------------------------

 

[voo2doo]

Q. How many animals can you get into a pair of tights???

.
..
..
...
A. 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 beaver, 1 ass, 1 pussy, thousands of hares and a dead fish no one can ever find


----------------------------------------J--------------------------------------------

 

[voo2doo]

Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.

He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating.

The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the **** is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!".

The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"
_________________________J________________________________________________

 

[voo2doo]

Big Aussie going down the market with a sheep under each arm.Meets a mate who says, " G'day mate, Ya shearing?" Nah, says the Aussie.
Gonna shag em both meself !
______________________________________J____________________________________

 

[voo2doo]

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"

The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to **** your brains out, and suck your tits dry."

Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"

He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
______________________J____________________________________________________

 

[kreb]

voo you have out done yourself. hats off to those jokes, i needed a great laugh.