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The Humor Thread

Discussion in 'General Chaos' started by DrakeCarson, Nov 24, 2017.

  1. DrakeCarson

    DrakeCarson Member

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    Hey, everyone! I've created this thread for us to share a few full-hearted laughs, something to lighten up the load when you just needed something to pick you up on a gloomy day. Let me start this up with a few shorts:

    Scientists finally found out, how much sleep humans exactly need..

    ...just five more minutes.
     
  2. DrakeCarson

    DrakeCarson Member

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    How can you tell if an ant is male or female?

    They're all females, otherwise, they'd be uncles.
     
  3. WoodiE

    WoodiE Kind of good admin.
    Staff Member

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    Medical students were attending their 1st biochemistry class. They all gathered around the Lab table with a urine sample. The professor dip his finger in urine & tasted it in his own mouth. Then he asked the students to do the same. The students hesitated for several minutes, but at last every one dipped their finger in urine sample & tasted it.... When everyone finished, the professor looked at them & said: “The most important quality is 'Observation'. I dipped my MIDDLE Finger but tasted the INDEX Finger. Today you just learn, how to pay attention.”
     
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  4. DrakeCarson

    DrakeCarson Member

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    I wasn’t going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me eggs Benedict.

    So I’m going home for the hollandaise.
     
  5. DrakeCarson

    DrakeCarson Member

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    A feminist once asked me how I see lesbian relationships..

    Apparently, "In HD" was the wrong answer.
     
  6. DrakeCarson

    DrakeCarson Member

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    Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject..

    Now when you talk about Botox, no one raises an eyebrow.
     
  7. atom3624

    atom3624 Well-Known Member

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    They are terrible!!
    Good job.

    Al.
     
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  8. Scruffy

    Scruffy Well-Known Member

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    Two peanuts we're walking in New York City. One was assaulted
     
  9. DrakeCarson

    DrakeCarson Member

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    Hahaha! :)
     
  10. DrakeCarson

    DrakeCarson Member

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    So my pal asked that iPhone assistant, Siri, why he's still single..

    Siri activated the selfie camera.
     
  11. DrakeCarson

    DrakeCarson Member

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    Which country’s capital is the fastest growing?

    Ireland’s...

    Every year it’s Dublin.
     
  12. DrakeCarson

    DrakeCarson Member

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    If I go through the trouble of making you breakfast in bed, all I ask for is a simple thank you..

    Not all this "how did you get in my house" nonsense.
     
  13. DrakeCarson

    DrakeCarson Member

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    I just got a bike for my wife..

    it was a good trade.
     
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  14. DrakeCarson

    DrakeCarson Member

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    I just saw my math teacher lock himself in his office with a piece of graph paper..

    I think he must be plotting something.