Tom Tom

[voo2doo]

Here we go round the mulberry bush,
the mulberry bush, mulberry bush,
Here we go round the mulberry bush,
I hate this bloody satnav.
J.

 

[voo2doo]

I'm absolutely sick of the wife ripping up my paper aeroplanes.

She's so childish !
J.

 

[voo2doo]

How do you get a duck to sing 'Ain't No Sunshine'?

Put it in the oven until its bill withers.
J.

 

[charlieboy]

How do you get a duck to sing 'Ain't No Sunshine'?

Put it in the oven until its bill withers.
J.

 

[dwarfy]

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plough?
Give her a shovel

 

[dwarfy]

Just got back from hospital. They reckon I might have pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis..........but its hard to say......

 

[voo2doo]

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plough?
Give her a shovel

 

[dwarfy]

Why is the space between a womans breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of t*ts in there

 

[charlieboy]

Why is the space between a womans breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of t*ts in there

 

[voo2doo]

Why is the space between a womans breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of t*ts in there

J.

 

[voo2doo]

I was trying to concentrate on my MT, when Jane starts flapping around, “What type of curtains do you think we should have in the lounge?” she asks.
Décor isn’t my strong point, so I just said the first thing that came into my head.

Apparently ‘beef’ isn’t a sensible choice.
J.

 

[dwarfy]

lmfao

 

[voo2doo]

A man is in a queue at Tesco and sees this busty blonde staring at him, he can’t believe she is staring at him, then she starts waving.

"Excuse me do I know you?" he asks.
"Yes I think you are the father of one of my kids" she says.

The man thinks back and remembers his one act of infedelity and says "****ing hell are you the bird I sha99ed on me stag do, whilst your mate whipped me and your other mate stuck a brush up my ar$e?"

"No" she replies "I am your son’s English teacher!"
J.

 

[dwarfy]

Nice 1

 

[charlieboy]

A man is in a queue at Tesco and sees this busty blonde staring at him, he can’t believe she is staring at him, then she starts waving.

"Excuse me do I know you?" he asks.
"Yes I think you are the father of one of my kids" she says.

The man thinks back and remembers his one act of infedelity and says "****ing hell are you the bird I sha99ed on me stag do, whilst your mate whipped me and your other mate stuck a brush up my ar$e?"

"No" she replies "I am your son’s English teacher!"
J.

funny

 

[Timmahh]

thats a commercial here stateside. candybar commercial or some silly poop like that.