Women....tut!

[voo2doo]

I was on my laptop today....wife asks "what you looking at?"

Cheap flights I said.

Her face lit up and she dropped to her knees and gave me the best blowjob of this year!

I didn't know she even liked darts!

-------------------------------J-------------------------------

 

[voo2doo]

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
















A lickalottapuss










--------------------------------J---------------------------

 

[voo2doo]

Few of me favorite womens insults...........................


She had a fanny like a stab wound in a gorillas back

Looks like she's been ducking for apples in a chip pan

Had more hands up her than Sooty

It looks like she's been set on fire and put out with a golf shoe

She's got a face that could make an onion cry

I wouldn't ride her into battle

She's seen more japseyes than an oriental optician

It's like shaggin' a pail of water

Fanny like a ripped out fireplace

Face like a stuntmans knee

Fanny like a yawning donkey

She's that ugly not even a sniper would take her out

She's been shot over more times than Sarejevo

She had a pair of flaps on her like a
gutted trout


------------------------J--------------------------

 

[voo2doo]

I was absolutely hammered and thought I'd drive home, then I saw the blue flashing lights.
poop, so I pulled down my top a bit so my bra was hanging out, hitched up my skirt so you could just see the bottom of my thong, wet my lips, and struck a pose.
the officer came up to my window and said "Do you realise how fast you were going sir?" * *
__________________J____________________________________

 

[voo2doo]

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. * This kind of sex happens when
You first meet someone, and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. * This is when you have been
With your partner for a short time, and you are so needy you will have sex
Anywhere, even in the kitchen.
The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. This is when you have been with
Your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine, and you usually have
Sex only in your bedroom.
The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex * This is when you have been with
Your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say
'F*** you.'
The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex. * Which means you get Nun in
The morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night. (Very Popular)

The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex. This is when you cannot stand your
Wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.

And; Last, but not least, The 7th kind of sex is called: Pension
Sex. You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy yourself.
__________________J________________________________

 

[mickey]

lmao voodoo some of those are great the rest are good