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voo2doo

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Flintshire,North Wales
A Welsh man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool.

After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and phones a vet for help.

The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.

The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant.

The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and instead will lie down and wallow in grass when they are pregnant.

The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep himself.

So, he loads the sheep into his Land Rover, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to bed.

Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he deduces that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the Land Rover again.

He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back, and goes to bed exhausted.

Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing round.

Try again.. he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up, and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look out of the window.

He asks his wife to look, and tell him if the sheep are lying in the grass.

No, she says,

they're all in the Land Rover,

and one of them is beeping the horn.

J.
 
As a woman passes her daughter's closed bedroom
door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within.

Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real
workout with a vibrator.

Shocked,she asked: "What in the world are you doing???"

The daughter replied: "Mom, I'm 35 yrs old, unmarried, and this is
about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please go away and leave me
alone."

The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz coming from the
other side of the closed bedroom door.
Upon entering the room, he observed his daughter making passionate
love to her vibrator.

To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter said:

"Dad, I'm 35yrs old, unmarried, and this is about as close as I'll
ever get to a husband. Please go away and leave me alone."

A couple of days later, the wife came home from a shopping trip,
placed the groceries on the kitchen table and heard a buzzing noise coming
from, of all places, the living room.

She entered and observed her husband sitting on the couch, downing a
cold beer, and staring at the TV.
The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy.

The wife asked: "What the HELL are you doing??"

The husband replied:

"I'm watching football with my son-in-law".
__________________J.
 
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