A few jokes for you.......

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Paddy is at a job interview and the guy says, Give me a sentence containing the word facinate"

Paddy says, I've got a shirt with nine buttons but i can only fasten eight
 
Trip said:
If a big boobed woman works at Hooters... Where does a one legged woman work?


IHOP... Gives new meaning to "Tipping" your waitress.
Click to expand...

too much "2 and a half men" for you

Mujibar was at the inigration office taking his canadian citizenship test and had passed everything and only had the oral test left. the examiner asked him to come up with a sentence using the words pink, green and yellow. he thought about it for a while and said "the phone went green green so i pink it up and go yellow this is mujibar"
 
These were all brilliant, what a great way to start a Tuesday, and yep, i will be repating these to the guys:lol::lol:

Cheers
 
Why is that bit round a woman's middle called a waist?
Cos God could quite easily have fitted another pair of tits there!!
 
Whats the diference between a cop car and a hedgehog - the hedgehog has pricks on the outside

Whats got 4 legs and a prick on it's back - a police horse
 
if girls are made of sugar and spice, why do some smell of fish?

There was a young woman from Lymm, who had an amasing quim, it wasn't the size that attracted the flies but the crystalised spunk round the rim.

There was a young woman from Ealing who had a peculiar feeling, she lay on her back and opened her crack then pissed all over the ceiling.
 
cop jokes, reminds me of a good one

so a woman was on her way to work, she was running late and driving quite fast. she went over the crest of a hill and at the bottom was a police officer with radar and she got pulled over. the officer asked why she was going so fast and she replied that she was late for work. the officer asked what she did for work, she claimed to be a rectum stretcher. the officer, a little dumbfounded, asked what exactly a rectum stretcher does. the woman said "well you start out with one finger and work it around till you can get a 2nd finger in, leading up to a fist, and both hands. once you have both hand in you stretch it till its about 6' around". the officer blurted out "and what the hell do you do with a 6' poophole?!" the woman replied "you give him a uniform, badge and a radar gun and put him just at the other side of a hill"
 
I was shagging a girl over her kitchen table when we heard the front door opening.
"thats my husband," she said, Quick, use the back door." I knew I should have left berfore her husband caught me but there's no f*cking way I was refusing an offer like that!
 
I went to a footy match last night, this woman police officer came up to me on her horse, she kindly asked why i keep on stairing at her.
oh nothing really its just you are the biggest c*nt ive ever Sean on a horse.
 
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